#learning from a young age to consider things from all angles

[angryjewishcockroach]

It's funny the way antisemites will go on and on and on about us nasty, sneaky Jews and the "loopholes" of our religion that we "exploit" in order to trick G-d or whatever, and meanwhile my dad this morning absolutely delighted in telling me about a Facebook reel he saw asking and answering the question of whether or not you say the bracha after accidentally eating a non-kosher-certified food, the answer being that you should eat another, kosher food directly after so you can still say the bracha without making a mockery.

[eowynstwin]

Price x Reader. Age gap. Divorced Price. Older BF Price. Vaguely smutty. Follow-up to this.

Price realizes you’ve never had a reliable man in your life exactly the second time he discovers you looking up DIY home maintenance for very simple projects.

It missed him the first time because he was deployed. You’d mentioned offhand how you were figuring out how to rebalance a ceiling fan, and he’d just automatically assumed that you were doing it yourself because he wasn’t there, so he simply praised you for your resourcefulness and lived for the next three weeks off of the way you’d absolutely glowed at his words.

But then he gets home, and one evening on the couch he catches you googling “how to fix a leaky sink.”

“What’s that?” he asks you, tamping down on the sudden feeling of masculine inadequacy that reared up almost immediately at the discovery.

“Faucet handle’s leaking all over my counter when I turn it on,” you say, not looking up from your phone. “Landlord’s out of town and can’t fix it.”

“I’m in town, ain’t I?”

You look up at him then, brows raised. You hadn’t even considered asking him, then.

“Oh—I didn’t want to bother you, John, you only just got back, and you’re tired…”

You trail off at the droll expression on his face.

Price has learned a lot of lessons from his previous marriage. The foundational one: just because he hasn’t been asked to help doesn’t mean he is believed to be unreliable. Adding that lesson to his knowledge base about you—young, modern, independent—calculates out an obvious answer that curtails any sour mood that might have sprouted up over the issue.

He puts his hand over your phone screen and lowers it down to your lap. “I’m fixin’ the sink,” he says simply.

He enjoys the way your eyes dilate at the assertion.

The next day, he shows up at your flat wearing old work clothes and carrying his heavy toolbox in his hand.

(You don’t live together yet—something he’s keen to rectify—but he has a toothbrush in your bathroom and permanent space in your bedroom drawers. He can be content for now.)

And you—you answer the door in the filmiest of sundresses, the ribbon tie on one shoulder hanging at a loose angle.

“Heard you need some plumbing done,” he says in the gruffest of voices, already understanding the game.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here,” you say, barely able to hide your giggle, “I’ve been so worried.”

He steps in close to you, close enough to feel the heat of your body radiating off of your bare skin. He has half a mind to put the charade aside and lift your skirt here and now, but another lesson helpfully springs to mind: anticipation of the act makes the finale all the sweeter.

“I’ll show you to the kitchen,” you murmur, looking up at him with warm, dreamy eyes.

When he gets under the sink, he finds the problem easy enough to fix—the cold water supply line simple isn’t screwed in tight enough, and when he wiggles the whole contraption by the valves he finds that nothing has been tightened up to standard. A couple of years knocking the thing around had probably loosened up the locknut.

He elects to fix the whole problem in one go, while in the meantime you stand off to the side, watching him. He feels your eyes on his legs, trailing up to the hair on his belly exposed by his shirt riding up.

“Sir, I’m sorry, I should’ve said before,” you simper, “but I’m not really sure how I’m gonna pay for this.”

His cock jumps in his jeans, and he feels your gaze move to it as if it’s a physical touch.

He levers himself out a little and meets your eyes, keeping a stern expression on his face.

“I’m sure you’re gonna figure it out,” he says. Looking down at his groin and then back up at your face might be a touch unsubtle, but clear communication had been the most important lesson of all.

He slides himself back under, and pretends he doesn’t feel you approach, or lower to your knees between his spread legs. He ignores your gentle hands falling on the closure of his jeans, the pop of the button coming undone, the parting of the zipper as you pull it down.

“Of course, sir,” you say, “I’m sure I will.”

The softness of your hand meets his growing erection, caressing the head of his cock with your thumb—followed very close behind by the wet, liquid heat of your mouth.

next

[lottiesnotebook]

happy thedas weekend!! im sorry but I see Cara Hawke Laidir/Emmrich Volkarin on your list and I just gotta ask 👀 maybe "I want to learn. Teach me." from the sugar and spice prompts?

So this turned out rather more sugar than spice, because it turns out it is actually VERY DIFFICULT to make Cara and Emmrich actually hook up, but I think I have made a Start here, which I hope counts for Something...

Emmrich Volkarin/Cara Hawke-Laidir, age gap, terrible flirting, Cara is a Horrible Brat

@guacamolleee | @thedasweekend

keep a tender distance

“I’ve never seen anyone talk to spirits the way you do.” Cara Laidir’s eyes are wide and guileless as she gazes up from beneath her lashes, which is, to Emmrich, already suspicious. He’s proud of his optimism, his open-hearted faith that there’s good in everyone, mortal and spirit, if only one can reach out to touch it, but something has him unsettled even before she finishes her sentence: “I want to learn. Teach me?”

She finishes with a bat of those shadow-dark lashes, an unnecessary gilding of the lily. Emmrich has never been anything less than a passionate teacher to any student with the slightest interest in spiritcalling or corpse-speaking, but he has, in his day, met plenty of students who’s interest lay in passions more carnal than charnal. From the way Cara flutters her lashes, arches her back so that he cannot miss the shadow between her breasts, darts out her pink tongue to moisten scarlet-painted lip, he suspects she is of that latter kind, and such entanglements have never been to his taste.

For some, he knows, there is allure in that particular kind of forbidden romance, but he’s always found the idea a little sordid, a little tawdry. Pyrite and cheap paste in place of grave gold, a mockery of the art of love, an art he has always held holy.

Still, he does not know his young leader well enough, yet, to know for certain she is being insincere, for all that she seems to flirt more easily than she breathes: leaning close to Neve’s shoulder as she unpicks a ward, clinging to Davrin’s strong arm as they trudge through the filth of the Hossberg Wetlands, flinging herself recklessly through the air to be caught by Lucanis (or, more often, Spite).

They are not, as a rule, a particularly tactile people, in Nevarra, in the Necropolis. Tenderness is reserved for children, lovers, and the dead. He would know — in his youth, he’d recalled hands covering hands in his mother’s kitchen, in his father’s yard, and applied the same technique to helping his classmates with autopsies, with the drawing of runes. Then, he had received only flinches away, only looks of disgust. He has become accustomed, with the wisdom of age, to keeping a careful distance between himself and his students, lest he risk the appearance of impropriety, of lines becoming blurred that he would never consider crossing.

Cara, as a student, is not content with careful distance, with detailed instruction. “I can’t get this gesture right,” she sighs, lips knotting into a thwarted pout. “I think the angle’s wrong. Could you show me again?”

“Of course-” he begins, and raises his arms to demonstrate. She takes it as invitation, or possibly, as an opening he did not mean to leave, and slips herself into the circle of his arms, head tilted up to gaze studiously at the positioning of his fingers. Her hair smells like salt, where it brushes his nose, like the wild, white-capped sea. Like a distant storm, caught on the wind, brushing his skin with the promise of rain.

“Oh,” she breathes, and he can feel her voice reverberate between his own ribs, low and sweet as a beating heart. “It’s like this?”

There is a moment — only a moment — where he forgets what she was meant to be learning, and then she outstretches her hands and positions them an inch or so below. He can tell, from the flex of the tendons in her wrist, that the magic will not flow through her smoothly with the awkward angle of her thumbs. It should be the most natural thing in the world, to cover her hands with his own, to correct the positioning of her fingers and let the magic spark free, untangled from the nerves and sinews of her flesh.

But there is something artificial in the way she gasps and shudders against him, in how she leans into his touch like a tomb-guardian cat demanding her due. Not the desire — in truth, he cannot read her well enough to tell if her attraction is genuine or feigned, a display she thinks he expects of her — but its expression. In her least-guarded moments — in battle, in fear — she is sharp-edged, shattered glass, ruthless in a way he half-recognises.

In her least-guarded moments, she reminds him of Johanna, and perhaps, knowing what he knows of his former love now, that should repulse him. Of course, as it did with Johanna, it fascinates him, the more because even in her most ruthless moments, she does not slide into needless cruelty. She does what she believes is necessary, and then slips back behind her laughing mask of the heartless pirate princess, as if such matters of life and death and apocalypse are far beyond her ken.

For all Emmrich plays the gentleman necromancer, the fastidious, dapper professor, he has always been a spirit-caller, a corpse speaker, a scalpel born to slice through the illusions of this world to the truths hidden at the heart of theFade. And when Cara pouts and bats her lashes and plays the wicked student in need of Teacher’s reprimand, he itches to pull away her illusions, to cut through to the bones of her and reveal whatever her games and her masks and her secrets attempt to conceal from him.

His first attempt is a failure, of course, perhaps because it follows close on the heels of her own mistake. Spite snarls out something that is, in its own way, a joke, and before he can retort, Cara giggles, and Spite preens. That is, in itself, an offence to his pride — that she’d begged him for lessons for a skill that clearly came as naturally to her as breath, and that he’d been blind to her mischief until she herself slipped up.

“You know, my dear,” he murmurs, a note of chastisement creeping into his voice as he hands her over a brook, “if you want something from me, you need not make a game of it. You need only ask.”

She glances over her shoulder at him, expression darkening momentarily to a scowl before she smooths it into a prettier, less-pleasing pout. “Now where would be the fun in that?” she retorts, and dances ahead before he can muster a reply, dark hair flying in the wind, her personal banner of defiance.

That is the puzzle of her, and he admits, reluctantly, the attraction, too — as Johanna hid her softer, more vulnerable heart behind the sharpened edges of her brilliance, Cara conceals her sharpness, yes, but also her heart and its hungers, behind a glittering verneer of fun. A girl who cares for nothing but glittering trinkets and games that mimic love without its pitfalls and heartaches — a girl like that cannot carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. Perhaps her games and her tricks and her petty deceptions are less a mask than a hiding place, one she has carved out in her own mind, her own heart.

He should, he knows, allow her her secrets and her games, but sometimes — sometimes, still, he catches a glimpse of the bones behind her pretty lies, and, ever-true to his nature, he itches to uncover them.

[spikezonebby]

hi !! saw requests for song fics are open, may I request something angsty with fem!human!reader x megatron (idw) to ‘young and beautiful’ by lana del rey ? 🥹 <3 thank you in advancee

Young and Beautiful (IDW Megatron x Fem!Human!reader)

Word count: 1,070

Eighty years. Humans lived for a measly eighty years.

You change right before Megatron’s optics. Your hair grays, your skin sags, your bones grow thinner. Like the very universe was sapping you away from him. Vector Prime alone could grant him all the time he needed to write a poem about all of the moments he lived with you.

But how could he begin to write when every time he picked up his stylus, you were that much further from him? He longed to capture the feeling of you and immortalize it in a data pad, but then you’d touch your tiny, soft servo along his gray bottom lip plate and take him away. Remind him that you were his moment. Here for a second, gone in a blink.

You flare, you flicker, you fade.

You asked him once, if he’d love you even after you weren’t so soft. You weren’t so pretty. And your mind wasn’t as intact as it once was.

Megatron’s answer was immediate.

“Even once the spark of your life extinguishes, and I won’t stop even for a klik after.”

You may have lamented the way time and age changed you, but Megatron learns to see unique beauty in it. There was something beautiful in a life lived so long that you COULD age, it was a promise of peace and resilience. You lived, you fought, you came back again and again. A force so strong that it took time itself to put you down.

Megatron thought that was romantic. Not in the way of kisses in summer or dancing in the moonlight, but the cosmic way. In the way that atoms and space dust collect together and become new stars, or how he realizes, in the grand scheme of things, so, so many tiny and nearly impossible things had to happen for you to be his.

As you grew older, you grew more rapt by his poetry. You blamed it on growing old and sentimental, he argued you were always sentimental. You had always found it fascinating, but Megatron believed that perhaps you took some comfort in it.

“Do you think, because I love you… I’ll be there in the Afterspark waiting for you?”

You were resting against his neck cables, curled up between his shoulder armor and helm vents like a tiny glitch mouse. The ardent heat of energon pulsing up the lines of his throat felt good and helped soothe some of the arthritis in your hands. He had to rest his chin on his servo, propping his helm up at an angle to keep from squishing you, but he hadn’t the spark to stop you.

It’s a question that he’d pondered many times. For he who often pondered the nature of all things grand, the question of life after death was a philosophist’s energon and mineral tablets. 

“You do not have a spark,” He points out, shifting his helm minutely to a position slightly more comfortable for you to tuck yourself under, “So I would not expect you to be held to the same rules and expectations of Primus.”

“But, your God is real.” You raise as a counterpoint, “Any proof that various human gods are real could be considered dubious at best.”

“That is a point for the high queries of gods, but what of your lack-there-of spark?”

“What is a spark but life?” You offer, gesturing with your hands and making the round shape of a spark before your breast. Megatron loathed to move you from your warm perch, so instead he tips the data pad in his servo so he can see your tiny reflection. You look comfortable, hidden securely in his collar fairings. “Perhaps I DO have a spark, but it’s simply just a different form. After all, energy cannot be destroyed. It merely changes form.”

You chuckle, knocking your knuckles against his neck cables. “Julius Robert Mayer.”

“A human philosopher?” Megatron asks, setting his datapad aside to instead settle for reaching up and touching his digit to your lap. You take the hint immediately, and hold his huge digit between your two itty bitty hands. 

“Founder of the laws of energy conservation. Suppose most of us are philosophers in some way, though.”

You have to be, with lives so short and bright. Megatron keeps that thought private to himself, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. You were feeling thinner and thinner these days. He hoped you ate well enough.

“So, what have we come to the conclusion of in this conversation?” You prompt, bringing back your point, “That there is no true way to say I do not have a spark, and that it’s ultimately far more likely that Primus and his Afterspark wait for me than say… The Christian or Hebrew concept of God.”

“For there are too many to count.”

“For there are too many to count.” You agree, “But it is the most commonly applicable and the most similar to Primus.”

“But,” Megatron clicks his glossa, a smile coming to his face. He loved it so  when he could have these in-depth conversations with you. “That is also dismissing that humanity is a much younger culture than Cybertron was. Perhaps you will find proof that these things are indeed true, or perhaps something you had not even considered. Perhaps in the afterlife, you will have a veritable plethora of ‘heavens’ to choose from.”

“Then I’d choose to wait for you.” You say, “Or I’d choose some religion where I’d be reborn and I could fall in love with you again.”

“You could live again, redo all of the things you had missed. Unmake all of your mistakes.”

“You talk as if I considered you a mistake.”

He feels your tiny, cool lips press to the pulsing line of energon that is connected directly to his spark chamber. You laugh, giddy and sounding just as young as you were when he first met you. There’s a well of emotion there in his chest and, if not for millions of years of carefully cultivated control, he might have sobbed.

Instead, he settles for curling the whole of his huge, warm servo against your body, and recording this moment for all of time. The moment he writes on his spark that you wanted to be his in any life.

“I suppose it is not a mistake then, if you do not regret it.”

[utilitycaster]

I kinda felt disappointed and kinda disheartening in the discussion surrounded taash being non-binary and people just framing their gender identity discussion as just baby first queer meetup it just I've been out for several years as non-binary and I still don't have access to these kind of outlets I don't know but I guess people forget that everyone journey is different.

and also like it does make sense for taash experience to be like that since its literally their first time exploring new gender identities?

Hey anon! I think that's exactly it - this isn't at all limited to people talking about Taash or the Veilguard fandom (or people who played and didn't like it) but on some level Taash actually seems to me to exactly play out the (explicitly canon scenario) of "what if you felt like something was weird or off about how you experience yourself but didn't know what and it had been going on so long that you'd internalized it and thought it was normal for everyone and this also got caught up with your complicated relationship with your mother and you blew up at your coworker for walking around in a kinda low cut shirt on her own personal time and instead of being like WELL FUCK YOU TOO she was like 'interesting. why are you doing this because I don't think I'm the problem.' " Like, I was on a lot of feminist websites aimed at young women in the early 2000s as a teen and so lesbianism and bisexuality were both talked about a lot but no one was like, bringing up Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg and actual THEORY until college. Like, truly, until maybe 15 years ago, when social media with an anonymous angle started blowing up? You had your gender and sexuality discovery through doing and living and talking to other queer people irl or by finding a library or bookstore that had what you needed, if you even knew what you needed beyond "I'm weird and feel wrong." You had to go to a group. You can literally read Alison Bechdel's account of doing this for lesbianism in the 80s. Taash is actually just acting like someone who can't privately learn all of this from a carrd and has to actually talk to people and take notes. And as for the actual term...you know how people always mock historians for being like "these two people were close friends" and they're like OH MY GOD THEY WERE FRIENDS WHO WANTED TO BE BURIED TOGETHER? Well, have you considered Taash is referred to as nonbinary and has the whole pronouns discussion because if you go with more euphemistic language, again, someone will be like "no this is just representative of gender nonconformity" and call Taash a tomboy.

I don't want to derail the above but I do feel a lot of people online, especially who have been on social media from a very young age, just...struggle to comprehend the following three things to a degree I find worrying.

perspectives, opinions, and experiences that are different than yours are good things to experience regularly; you should expand your mind and comfort zone

representation does not mean "people who had the same exact experience with the same exact outcomes as you for the same exact gender/sexuality/race/ethnicity/gender" and is just as much to show people not of those demographics the inner life of characters who are

You do not need to like a character as a person to find them interesting or well-written/acted.

and i feel a lot of weirdness towards Taash coming from people who are nb or queer themselves lands in those categories.

[blaithnne]

Hey, so, this might sound weird, but your post about Ragatha tadc is seriously fucking me up. But thank you for writing it! I've had to face a lot of hard truths over the past few hours lol. I hope it's ok that I talk a little about what I mean.

I have known that I'm autistic for years, but I've never once considered that I mask in public, let alone mask at all. I've always struggled with making friends, and even when I did, I never felt like I was close to anyone. I never understood what I was doing wrong. I'm kind and cheerful, and I try to see the bright side of things and help people where I can. I always thought that was my genuine personality, and I think I am, but now I think I'm realizing I put on an act for people.

The latest episode of tadc stuck with me right after I watched it. I connected with Ragatha in a way I hadn't before, but it wasn't until I read your post that I understood why and realized all of this. She's the first character in a long time where I can say, "Oh. She's me. Literally me."

I don't even know who I really am anymore. I've spent so long sanding down my edges and trying to fit in, and never be annoying or considered uncool, that I don't think there's anything underneath my mask.

Anyway, I'm sorry for venting all of this unprompted. I just wanted to thank you again for making that post. It really meant a lot to me. I hope you have a wonderful day.

Oh dude, thank you so much for sending this in because you are REAL ASF!!

I think the best part about my Ragatha post getting so much traction is the amount of people who have opened up about relating to it. I mentioned briefly in the tags of that post that I wasn’t actually sure if what I was talking about was a common autistic experience or if it was really just a me thing, it’s something I had chalked up to autism after some personal introspection but not something I’d ever seen anyone discuss. I made the post in the first place because it was an angle I hadn’t seen anyone highlight. So it’s been really comforting to find out that I’m not alone in this struggle, and if this post has helped you figure out something new about yourself then that’s truly an honour.

Masking is weird. Autism is weird! We as autistic people tend to take things very literally, which extends to the definitions of our symptoms. We’ll be asked whether or not we take everything literally, and we’ll think “well no, I don’t take every single thing I hear literally, so I don’t do that”, without realising that we’re doing it right there and then! I think it’s the same with masking, or at least it was with me. I always thought masking was more intentional, a choice one makes — a mask you can take on and off at will, but it isn’t, and that’s what makes it so hard to deal with.

Masking is something you learn to do from a young age, it’s a learned behaviour which become almost instinctual. This makes it really fucking difficult to unlearn, because by the time you realise you have to, you’ve already built your identity around the walls you’ve put up, and now it’s up to you to figure out what’s real and what’s fake, what you need to keep in order to survive in this world, and what you need to discard for the very same reason.

I spent years of my life terrified of being disliked, because for a very long time I was. So I learned how not to be, I learned to be polite and quiet and funny and I built my identity around being those things. I learned what everyone in my life liked, what different social groups valued, and I became a copy of whoever I was talking to. Every friend I made would talk about how we had the exact same sense of humour, because I only laughed when they did. I have forever sworn off playing Cards Against Humanity, because I realised that when you build your identity and value your self worth around the idea that you’re the funny one, putting yourself in a situation where your ability to make others laugh is judged and ranked is ridiculously stressful. It’s funny the things that prompt realisations about yourself.

Eventually I realised that in making myself a perfect copy of everyone I interacted with, I had robbed the people around me of the chance to get to know me. What would people think of when I was gone, what would they miss? How can you miss someone who only mimics you, who’s just sort of generally nice and not really much else. I had no unique identity, no personality for people to latch onto. I used to take pride in the fact that even those who were notorious for disliking others still liked me, until I realised it was only because I had provided them with no unique identity to dislike. I realised that at least if I was hated, I was thought of, I was known for who I was and not for what I did. I was appreciated when I was around but not missed when I was gone and that realisation absolutely killed me. But I also think it sort of saved me.

Realising you’re masking is the first step to unlearning how to do it. It’s a long process, it’s one I’m still undergoing, but it’s so worth it. Finding your voice and your identity is absolutely a worthwhile endeavour, but that doesn’t make it easy. The hardest part for me was finding the courage to be disliked, accepting that not only was it inevitable that some people would dislike me, it was actually a good thing! Those things that some people will hate about you — maybe you talk too much, or you’re often quite grumpy — are the very same things which others will love about you. You have to give people a person for them to get to know, to be drawn to, not a perfect copy of themselves who can satisfy their every desire and laugh at all their jokes.

You don’t need to be perfect, nobody really wants you to be. You have to be you. You have to figure out who that is. You have to allow yourself the space to be messy and ugly and weird and unique, you have to learn not to care what people think about you, and oh my god that’s the hardest thing in the world. I’m talking here with a lot of authority and like I know all the answers, but I only came to this realisation within the past two years, after I graduated high school and moved away from everyone I’d ever known growing up, and finally got my diagnosis. I’m still bad at remembering this stuff, I still automatically put on a front when I talk to people, because I still don’t know exactly who I really am without the mask. And even the parts of me I do know, I struggle to figure out how to show them in a socially acceptable manner. I struggle to approach conversations in a way that’s not methodical and quite calculated, because I don’t know how else to.

But I’m also getting better, bit by bit. I’m learning to work with my autism and not against it, accepting that I will interact with the world differently from others, and some people might not like that, and that’s okay. I’m learning to uncover who I am, the hints of my true identity peaking through the mask. Maybe it’s okay to approach conversations a little methodically — I recently learned that when people start up small talk by asking about the weather or some such thing, it’s usually not actually because they care about the weather, it’s because they want to talk to you! They’re just looking for a way to start a conversation, they’re saying “I don’t know what to say to you right now, but I want to talk to you, so I’ll start with this.” Isn’t that so sweet? All these things that neurotypical people know instinctively, I’ve had to learn manually, and it’s given me a greater understanding and appreciation for the people around me.

I have a terrible memory, but I’ve learned to memorise almost everything when it comes to my friends and what makes them comfortable and happy and what their lives are like, and that’s not bad information to have in the slightest. What’s important is that you don’t build your identity around that information, you allow yourself to use the knowledge youve acquired over the years you’ve spent masking without it consuming you, use it to help you but not to define you. All this stuff is just tools to give people a bridge to get to know the real you, so make sure there is a real you for them to get to know. You’re beautiful and unique, there is somebody absolutely wonderful underneath that mask of yours, and it’s your job to give people the honour of getting to find out who that is. If someone doesn’t like what they find, that means you’re doing a good job. You’ve shown them what you’ve got and they’ve made their decision, and now you’re one step closer to finding someone who’ll appreciate you. If you hadn’t shown them the real you, you might’ve spent years following that person around and let them befriend your mask, only making it harder for you to open up to them after you’ve gotten to know them better.

You know another thing I’ve learned about myself lately? I ramble a lot! I go on and on and on and my big long paragraphs will surely annoy some people, but if just one person reads this and it helps them, then it’s worth it. Besides, it helped me quite a bit to write it all down. Thank you for sending this ask in anon, I hope life treats you well, and I wish you the absolute best of luck in finding your identity. I have a feeling you’re going to like what you find!

[vibrantstarfire]

one-plus-one, easy math cass&kon, fake dating (no, really, she's a lesbian, this is a fake date) word count: 2557 also on ao3

“You… want me to be your plus-one?” 

Cass nods. She’s started talking lately, according to Tim, but she’s still pretty quiet. Kon thinks even when she gets more comfortable with speaking, she might still be a woman of few words – she seems the type to choose them carefully, the same way she’s precise with her movements. 

“Well…” Kon rubs the back of his neck, thinking it over. “I thought we weren’t dating anymore. I thought you were happy about not dating anymore.” 

Cass tilts her head to the side, and Kon knows she’s probably reading his entire soul. He squirms a little under her intense gaze. Then, “I am.” 

“Then…” He frowns. “Why are you asking me to be your plus one, if we’re not dating?” 

It’s a longer phrase, and Kon thinks she might struggle. But to his pleasant surprise, though she takes some time to consider her words, they don’t seem overly difficult. “...I need someone outside the family.” 

“And I’m the best choice?” he asks. “...Really?” 

“I was surprised too.” 

Kon barks out a surprised laugh. She’s learned enough for jokes, then, that’s great. She smiles, and he’s glad she’s comfortable enough to joke around with him still – he missed making her happy. As whirlwind and short-lived as their romance was, making her smile was a definite perk. He always got the feeling that joy was a rare experience for her. He just hopes she’s happy in Gotham. To him, it’s always been stifling – not least because Batman is an asshole. 

“So?” Cass asks, looking at him with intense brown eyes. 

“Ah, what the hell,” he finally says. “Sure. But I need to go shopping, I don’t have anything fancy enough for this kind of thing.” 

Cass smiles then – and holds up three separate cards in Bruce Wayne’s name. Stolen, he thinks, given the mischief on her face. Kon quickly discovers that, actually, there is a superpower better than his TTK, and it’s called money. He whoops in delight, and it doesn’t take long for them to explore Gotham’s downtown, going from shop to shop until they find the perfect outfits to blend in with high society. 

(Or, rather, how they think they could blend in with high society. Cass’s dress is probably too loose and flapper-style for the current era, and Kon’s probably has too much satin, but they match, and they make for a fun duo.) 

////////

In the end, Kon probably wasn’t the best choice for the Gala. But Dick and Tim are both gone on a mission outside Gotham, leaving Cass the only Wayne child to represent the family alongside Bruce. Kon probably wasn’t the first choice, either – and privately, Kon wonders if Cass is testing boundaries with Bruce, given he’d been all but banned from Gotham. If she is testing boundaries, he hopes she gets whatever she’s angling for, even if it’s just a little more freedom to hang out with friends. 

It’s not until halfway through the Gala that Kon starts to wonder if maybe Cass had ulterior motives after all. 

They’ve been talking and tasting the overpriced snack table for most of the night, almost-goofing-off but not blatantly enough to catch Bruce’s ire (or so Kon hopes). Kon’s been monopolizing Cass’s attention, something he’s pretty good at, if he does say so himself – he’s always been a charmer. 

But eventually, it wears off; that, or everyone waiting for a chance with Cass finally get bold enough to interrupt them. And while Cass is trying to throw a wad of caviar into Kon’s open mouth, at that. 

“Ahem,” a young man about Cass’s age says. “So terribly sorry to interrupt. May I?” 

“May you what?” Kon asks, straightening up. He wipes the tiniest trace of caviar from the corner of his lip – Cass is an excellent shot, and Kon’s pretty good at catching, so it’s not like she ever missed. 

Cass, meanwhile, stands up a little straighter. 

“Interrupt,” the young man says. “Miss Wayne, I don’t mean to take you away from… present company. But I was hoping for a dance. Perhaps a bit of light conversation.” 

Kon stares at the guy, raising a brow. 

Kon’s no body language reader. Not like Cass. But he knows her heart’s a little faster, in the bad way. The blood pressure raising way. He glances between her and the new guy, and ultimately decides, nah, he’s not going to let this happen. 

“Sorry,” he says. “Her dance card is pretty full. I could try to rearrange, but she and I, we’re pretty busy.” 

Cass looks up in surprise – an expression he’s not used to seeing on her face. 

The new guy, too, looks surprised. Kon thinks he can see his eye twitching. Kon bets his name is something silly, like Macadamian Rosegarden Cavendish the Third, and that he’s not used to being told no. 

All the more reason to say no, then. 

Kon sends him a friendly smile, then looks back over at Cass and extends her a hand. Time to go somewhere a little less approachable. “Speaking of dancing though – Cass and I should probably practice a little. I’ve got two left feet, see, and she's the best dancer I know. Cass?” 

Cass looks at Kon’s hand, then his face. Wordlessly, she takes his hand. 

Kon sends the guy a two-fingered salute, then is quick to walk with her to a less occupied part of the Gala. There’s a balcony nearby, one just big enough for the two of them. Kon makes a little more room by hopping up on the ledge, swinging his legs around so he can face Cass and the party inside the windows. 

Cass is quiet for a while, but she looks less tense out in the night air. He almost didn’t notice it beyond her heartbeat, but she’d gotten a little more tense when Macadamian Rosegarden Cavendish the Third had approached – a tension that hadn’t been there when it was just the two of them enjoying themselves. 

It takes a moment, but finally she finds her words again. “...Thank you.” 

“No problem,” Kon says. “Is it like that a lot, at these things?” 

Cass shrugs one shoulder. “Second gala,” she says. When Kon doesn’t quite understand, she pauses and elaborates, just a little. “...I don’t come to many. Not sure.”

Kon nods. That makes sense. “I hope you don’t have to go much more often then, because it must suck having to reject people so much.” 

Cass looks at the ground. 

Kon frowns a little. The wind disturbs her carefully ironed bob, and when she doesn’t try to remove it from her face, Kon reaches out with just a hint of TTK and does it for her. She looks up, equal parts confused and startled. 

“Sorry,” he says, putting both hands up and stopping his powers. “Just- Sorry. Got distracted. Wanted to help.” 

Cass crosses her arms in front of her chest. 

Kon finds his train of thought, then, and asks, “Do you usually get to reject them? Or do you end up dancing with them anyways?” 

Cass’s silence speaks volumes. 

Kon lets out a slow breath. It fogs in front of him in the chilly night air. “I’m sorry,” he says, sincerely. “That sucks.”

“Not your fault.” 

“Well… I’m glad I could come with this time,” he says. “So you don’t have to dance with anyone you don’t want to.” 

Cass nods. There is the tiniest hint of a smile again, and she tucks a lock of hair behind her ears. Then, quietly, “Even you?” 

It takes him aback for a second. Then, he understands what she means, and nods. “Well yeah, I only said your dance card was full to lose that jerk. You don’t have to actually dance with me – even though I will say, my dance moves are great, I’m an absolute party animal. I can do the Mashed Potato like nobody’s business.” 

Cass blinks, serious instead of laughing. “Mashed potato?”

Kon grins, standing on top of the balcony ledge. “I’m so glad you asked, I’d be happy to demonstrate-”

He’s pretty sure he’s not doing it exactly right, but Cass looks almost hypnotized by the way his heels click and his knees move in sync with an imaginary rhythm. He’s definitely doing the hands wrong, but he’s having more fun with it this way. 

“Dancing with yourself?” Cass asks, grinning up at him. "Not a waltz?"

“Way more fun,” Kon says with a grin. “I could show you how to do it yourself?” 

Cass just laughs at him. She’s already imitating his movement – in a way that flows better than he’s doing. Right – almost forgot, movement was her first language. Of course she’s better than him already. 

Instead of feeling put out, Kon just grins at her. 

She looks like she’s having fun again – and really, that’s all he wants. 

When she looks back up at him, her smile is everything. Kon knows she isn’t interested in a relationship – or at least, not one with him. Kon checks in with himself, gives himself a stern reminder not to read into anything. He’s here to make sure she has fun, and that’s all. 

Eventually, after teaching Cass the Twist, the Shopping Cart, and an attempt at the Moonwalk – all of which she masters immediately – Kon hops down from the ledge and moves to sit again. 

He looks up at the sky, and mourns the fact that Gotham doesn’t really have stars. “Thanks for inviting me,” he says sincerely. “It’s been really fun tonight. I haven’t gotten to go to something like this in a while, and the ones I went to before – they weren’t that fun, either, even if they were a lot less fancy than this.” 

Cass looks a little surprised. “But you’re so… exciting?” 

Kon chuckles a little. “Yeah,” he says. “But it’s still more fun here with you.” 

It takes her a moment to chew on that. Eventually, she moves to sit on top of the ledge next to him. They both look inwards at the party, watching ladies in fancy dresses dance with well-dressed men in suits. The fake laughter, the champagne glasses. Kon’s never been that familiar with the super-rich, but he’s had his fair share of parties. Especially back when he was Just Superboy. 

Ever since getting his name, and especially after moving in with Ma and Pa Kent, life’s been a lot slower. More balanced. He has room to breathe. 

Kon doesn’t know much about Cass’s life before being adopted by Bruce Wayne. But he hopes it’s been a relief for her, too. That whatever her life was like before, that she can breathe in this fresh start, too. He hopes it’s not constant vigilante work all the time. She deserves a chance to have fun and be a real person, too. 

When Kon looks back, he finds Cass staring at a young woman with a particularly daring backless dress in crushed velvet Prussian blue. 

Her cheeks are pink, he notices.

And he thinks, maybe he’s reading into this too much. But if he’s not, he thinks he understands her a little bit better. And maybe why she seemed to have a lot of fun on their date, and liked the idea of a romance, and a TTK castle in the sky, and a spark of real love with someone – but why something was missing. 

“She’s pretty,” Kon says, looking at the young woman, too. “Do you like her dress?” 

Cass turns to him, brows furrowed. She glances between his body language and his lips, seemingly puzzled. “I wouldn’t want to wear it.” 

“Sorry,” Kon says, realizing he might be confusing her by being subtle. “I wouldn’t expect you to, yeah, it’s not very practical.” 

Cass looks at him again, still confused. 

“...But,” he says, “It’s okay to like how it looks on her. It’s okay if you think she’s pretty.” 

Cass doesn’t say anything for a little while. Her face is still a little pink. 

“Pretty doesn’t matter,” Cass says, but her eyes don’t leave the blue dress. “It’s not supposed to.” 

“Sure,” Kon says. “But dancing doesn’t matter either. And it can still be fun. Pretty – sometimes pretty can be fun. Sometimes people like to look pretty just to enjoy it. Like art, or whatever.”

It takes a moment, but finally, Cass nods. “And she?” she asks. “She wants to look pretty so that someone sees her as pretty?”

“Something like that.” 

“Her date,” Cass says. Her eyes are laser-focused on the man locking arms with her. “She wants her date to see her as pretty.” She pauses for a moment. A long one. Then, in a smaller voice, “Not me.” 

Kon is quiet for a moment, not sure what to say to that. 

Cass’s shoulders slump. “I shouldn’t look. I wouldn’t want her to feel-” She frowns, looks over at the boy who had asked her to dance earlier, who Kon had helped her reject. And Kon recognizes her dilemma. The fear of looking, of asking to dance, when it’s unwanted. When there is a fundamental incompatibility. 

Cass shivers, and Kon sheds his jacket to drape over her shoulders. It’s satin, so it doesn’t do all that much to protect her from the cold, but Kon likes to think it at least helps. She pulls it closer, and looks more at ease immediately. 

“You don’t have to look if it makes you worried to think about this kind of thing,” he says, carefully. “But it’s not wrong to think she’s pretty, regardless of who she’s trying to be pretty for.” 

She looks up at him, still unsure. 

“Trust me on this,” Kon says, adding a wink for flair. “It’s okay if you don’t like boys. It’s okay if you like girls – hell, it’s okay if you only like girls. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

Cass looks in through the window, of the sea of wealthy Gothamites. Kon follows her eyes to the small, formal dance floor – where the only ones dancing are men-and-woman pairs. How they lean in close to each other; how the man leads the woman, how they’re pushed close together, how it’s impossible to miss the intimacy in the way they hold each other, even in formal dances. The way men’s suits cut neatly to their waists and flatter masculine figures; the way the women’s dresses accentuate whatever she believes her best features to be. The way they all follow the same type of dance, with no room for new steps. No room for fun. 

He thinks it cuts quite a picture against two vigilantes, teaching each other how to dance with themselves in the cold night air. 

“Someday you might get to dance with a girl,” he says. “Sorry if it might not be tonight. But someday.” 

Cass laughs a little, pink to her ears. “And you?” 

“What, who am I going to dance with?” 

She nods. 

Kon lets out a long breath, leaning backwards, elbows brushing the railing. He’s not sure himself. “I like dancing, just not the boring, stuffy kind,” he finally says. “As long as my partner’s having fun, I don’t really care how I do it, or who I’m dancing with.” 

Cass follows his eyes – the way he watches everyone inside the window, his eyes not particularly caught by any one person. 

“Okay,” she says, and accepts that as an answer. Kon thinks she reads something different in his body language – but if she does, she doesn’t tell him any different. 

"Let's stay outside a little longer, yeah?" Kon finally says. "I think I remember the Electric Slide. I've got the song on my phone and everything."

Cass grins, and Kon pulls up his phone. The Electric Slide clashes horribly against the orchestra inside, but he doesn't care. They've got their own dancing to do, and they'll be doing it to their own rhythm.

[chaapanya]

Talking Circles: A Human!Cole Study

I've been thinking lately about the way the fandom at large tends to view Cole-- often this infantile version of a young man that, due in part to being neurodivergent coded, is flattened and shaped to fit in these little boxes labeled "innocent", "sweet", "child-like", and "pure", and I cannot for the life of me disagree more.

As a neurodivergent person myself now entering my 30s, I have a more stable standing point to look back at the years of my life spent growing and realize that my autism effected me in ways I thought at the time it wasn't, yet very few of these correlate to how other people perceive autism to work. Especially when it comes to sex and love.

First of all, let me be clear when I say I'm not discrediting anyone else's headcanons. There are multiple versions of Cole, even within both diverging paths, and I'm not here to tell anyone what is "right" or "wrong". What I AM trying to convey is perhaps the changing of viewed angle people often take when trying to understand Cole that may add more depth and perspective to his character.

Though I didn't view Cole as autistic coded at first (I'm not typically one to view anyone with additional tags outside of "human/person" and pronouns), it's a perspective I can respect. That said, Cole is no child. He is a fully grown man unsure how to react in the world he's been placed in (this is a canon description taken straight from Dragon Age: Asunder btw) and due to such, I have taken to comparing him more close to how a robot would learn human emotion rather than how a child would.

He has a sharp mind and as he grows, he even develops his own unique sense of humor. He is absolutely not innocent, sex and love are not foreign concepts to him on a surface level. Why, then, is it so difficult for the fandom to believe that he could grow to learn both of these things on a deeper level?

Neurodivergency, especially autism, is constantly compressed into this immature, child-like outlook even by those within it's own community, and this is something commonly projected onto characters. Cole is no exception despite never being portrayed in any of the media he stars in as being a "sweet baby cinnamon roll that can do no wrong". He can be cruel in his kindness, he can be razor sharp, he can wield himself as a weapon outside of the blade he carries-- it's not so much of a stretch to consider he is capable of true love and lust.

Something common in autistic spectrum individuals is their hyper fixation on sex when first experiencing it. This isn't always the case, but it does happen and is often disregarded because "well of course that's normal in kids with hormones at that time, it has nothing to do with autism." or some other excuse to separate sex from neurodivergency as far as possible for the comfortability of neurotypicals.

I very much believe this would occur in Cole as well. We know Cole is capable of very deep feelings, even if he knows not how to label them with words, and we know from both Asunder and Inquisition that he is capable of having these feelings for other people. Love is not so far outside his emotional capacity scope. He had no interest in sex at that time because he had no one that he loved-- many people on the spectrum also tend to be demisexual, which brings me to my next point.

Asexuality (the common sexuality applied to Cole and other autistic coded characters) is a very broad spectrum, an umbrella term even. Asexuality should absolutely not be flattened into just "ew sex is gross and makes me uncomfortable". Does that exist? Yes, but that is only one type. Demisexuality is huge and often ignored, yet not as much as Greysexuality-- people that feel sexual attraction yet at a much less consistency with varying levels of intensity.

I firmly believe Cole is demisexual if not entirely greysexual. He held no attraction to women, yet was fully capable of acknowledging when someone was pretty or lovely. It seems very, very likely that should he fall in love with one specific person, *that* is when he would experience his first urges of desire-- because there is then connection. His first experience would open doors and sensations to him that he never would have dreamed of. It's not very difficult to merge from there into his hyper fixation on it with the very first ever love of his life.

And who else would Cole find attachment to than his Inquisitor-- someone who constantly looked out for him, constantly asked if he was doing alright, went out of their way to help him, and clearly cared very deeply not just for his life but also his happiness (providing your Inquisitor was kind to him as mine was).

People would argue "But what about Varric and Solas?" and my answer to that would be Cole is already well aware that Varric is in love with another woman and Solas is adamant about not allowing himself the luxury of love (for himself, baggage of his love for the other party). This COULD be applied as well to an Inquisitor that pursued another of the inner circle as well, leading to him and Maryden. Again, Cole is not a child and is hyper aware of other's sensitivities. He would not pursue someone that did not have an open door for him in their heart.

This is also why I dislike Cole x Maryden so much, they simply have no chemistry and were dropped in the story almost as if a knee-jerk after thought. Even Sera and Dagna had more relevance. The entirety of Trespasser, Cole was dappling concern and care over his Inquisitor even with his lover standing right next to him-- Cole and the Inquisitor have a LOT of chemistry and connection, even if its one sided and unrequited.

Regardless, there is probably more I could say on this, but this is all to say that I believe the constant infantilization and flat asexuality of Cole despite his constant growth through Asunder and Inquisition is a loud injustice. He should be given more autonomy to be the grown man that he is and experience all the aspects, both tidy and messy, that life has to offer (provided he was made more human. Spirit Cole is a whole different discussion). It is a deep shame to see very Spirit!Cole coded traits repeatedly pushed onto a Human!Cole that very obviously desires to grow like one.

To quote Varric, he made himself human, and humans change. They get hurt and they heal. We need to let him.

[inquisitoradaar]

1, 3, 4, 13, 14 and 19 for salvaza and virilanna!

OMG YAY!!! salvaza and varilanna time!!!

1.What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Salvaza: I went into Veilguard basically blind my first time through, so all I knew about Salvaza is I reeeeeally wanted him to be a Crow. And a he/him woman. His backstory has been workshopped over time, but that's really just me filling the gaps more than anything else.

Varilanna: Second time around I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Basically every detail about Varilanna was planned while I was still finishing up with Salvaza. The first thing though was her life before she joined the Grey Wardens.

3. How did you choose their name?

Random name generators for both of them 😭 ... Dragon Age-specific ones, but still. I have retroactively found meaning for both of their names, though!

"Salv-" is in real-world Spanish, Italian, and Portuguese names meaning "saviour", specifically in the context of. Well. Jesus. Obviously that equivalent in-universe would be Andraste, which still makes sense from the religious angle. His name is basically the one thing he remembers from his life before the Crows, since he was brought into House de Riva so young. It means a lot to him, so having Viago call him Rook is kind of like having your younger sibling say you have to call them by their title because they still haven't forgiven you for a massive argument you had a year ago.

Varilanna required a bit more construction work. She's a city elf who only started learning Elvish recently, from Dalish elves who joined the Wardens. When she started her transition she wanted an elven name, something as distant from her upbringing as possible, but she still wanted it to be hers, so she made one up for herself. Varilanna, from var bellanaris - "our eternity". (As for her surname. Not much to be done about that. My explanation for it is that she just picked it out of thin air so she'd have something official to go by, as this was pre-transition.)

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Salvaza: Andrastianism ^_^ I must reiterate that the name thing was not intentional. Salvaza's mother was an elf living in the alienage (Veilguard forgot but I remember.) and his father was a human sailor from Rivain who rarely came to Treviso. Then there's the fact that the Crows started as part of the Chantry, and how Salvaza rationalises his assassin duties, which then leads to his belief that all lives are of equal value, including spirits, which... you get the idea.

Varilanna: Tevinter's specific stances on slavery, anti-elf racism, and magic. There is a very good reason why when asked where she's from she just says she "trained in the Anderfels" (not an actual response) (doesn't even say she's FROM the Anderfels) (she spent 17 years in the Torment Nexus).

13. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

Salvaza: Okay so like the actual "canon ending" for Salvaza sucks big time. His boyfriend-to-be dies and then the guy he's in a situationship with uses his own lifeforce to hold up the Fade. And also nobody left on the Veilguard realistically likes him. If we work with that then he just goes back to the Crows and tries to ignore Lucanis. But what if there was a secret plan to just like, let Solas bring down the Veil. I think that would be cool. And also Salvaza would 100% be in an even worse position than the actual canon ending, but! At least the spirits are free. And he has his situationship, I guess.

Varilanna: Haven't finished playing as her yet, so it very much depends on how her ending plays out. Apparently Rook can get stuck in the Fade with Solas? It would be extremely funny if that happened to her while Salvaza ends up alone. Can they switch places please? Anyways if that doesn't happen she'll probably end up settling Harding's affairs before travelling with Taash.

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

Salvaza: His mixed heritage and his beliefs on spirits are sooo important even if he doesn't tell the majority of people about either of these things. Like they inform so much of his worldview, especially considering the plot of Veilguard. Like no shit he doesn't really mind Solas, Salvaza kind of thinks he has a point? Meanwhile his heritage moreso informs his relationships with other people, especially Teia and Viago, who were his only friends for fucking ever. And by the end of the game they're still his only friends. Awesome.

Varilanna: Everything is a self defence mechanism. Everything. Flirting? Self defence. Aggression? Self defence. That time she manipulated the First Warden? Self defence. Never let people know your genuine thoughts or feelings. The second thing is that despite that thing I just said about everything being self defence, she does genuinely like Harding and Taash. Which makes everything even more about self defence actually, because she's horrified by this fact. Girl who is totally normal and has no trauma whatsoever 👍

19. What is your favourite fact about your OC?

Salvaza: He had a very lenient upbringing by Crow standards, so he was allowed to do fun things sometimes. He liked reading things about Warden Brosca and her Crow friend. That combined with how he is essentially Viago's adopted prodigal little sister gave him a very heroically skewed image of the Crows.

Varilanna: Sometimes she uses her magic to set herself on fire just for fun. Or maybe it's the fact that she and Harding fucked once while on the road and they both decided not to mention it but it like very clearly happened and affected their relationship. Varric had no clue.

[scary-monsters]

I'm giving you an excuse for some Diego hcs if you want~

oh my god THANK YOU 😭🙏🏻 i went the canon diego angle this time!! if y'all want modern au diego headcanons feel free to ask 🧡

diego's handwriting is not very good; he's practiced and perfected an autograph that he's proud of and that is uniquely his, but he learned how to write (and read) much later than other kids his age. this is something he's very quietly self-conscious of, but he's so dedicated to his sport that it doesn't matter all that much to him.

diego is typically on time for things because he wants to maintain a professional public image. however, when he is late, he's not apologetic about it at all. obviously it's diego's world, everyone else is just living in it.

his table manners aren't great, but as he ages they definitely get better. when he eats he does it quickly and doesn't take as much time as he should to enjoy food. he has difficulty letting go of the survival habits he developed as a young boy.

diego loves the sun and prefers daytime, but he appreciates starry nights just as much. during the race he finds comfort in laying back and counting stars until he falls asleep.

his braiding skills are unmatched; he spent a lot of time playing with horses' manes when he was younger and he still finds the action soothing. caring for silver bullet in general is extremely important to him and he spoils her endlessly.

he's actually very good at math and numbers in general. he's analytical, he likes things that are absolute.

while he appreciates having a loud fanbase, direct attention makes him nervous. he's very good at pretending he likes it, especially when he's trying to gain something or win someone over, but truthfully he prefers being left alone and observed from afar.

he has no patience for anyone who touches silver bullet without explicitly asking, and the answer would usually be "no" anyway. he accepts nothing but the best for her and considers unknown hands filthy and unworthy unless proven otherwise (his standards are nuts).

one of diego's more private goals is to someday find an artist who can perfectly capture his mother's image in a portrait. he has been through several, and all of them failed. (i'm actually currently working on a fic for this and i'm very excited about it)

most of diego's jokes are on the fly and crafted in the moment, but he also carries a small journal with him for moments where genius strikes but he has no one to use the joke on. sometimes, during quiet moments where it's just the two of them, he'll recite jokes to silver bullet, who very likely is just thinking "why do i put up with him" (im kidding, she loves him dearly)

[zodiactalks]

FUNNIEST Zodiac Signs Ranked

Many people agree that you can’t manufacture a great sense of humor. You either are born with it, or you don’t have it.

This talent belongs to spontaneous, quick-witted people, who are not afraid to laugh at themselves! These characters are very observant and pay attention to their surroundings, have a curious nature, and are always ready to learn new things.

Humor is usually found in things that are out of place. The better someone assumes unique perspectives or sees things from a completely different angle, the better this person will be at making funny remarks about their daily lives.

A natural sense of humor is also related to outgoing, talkative people and enjoy having an audience to entertain.

Do you consider yourself a funny person? Read on and find out if your sign is one of the funniest in the zodiac!

#1. Gemini

This sociable sign has all the ingredients that make a great comedian: they are outgoing, very clever, spontaneous, and good with words. Geminis are the clown of their groups, always finding how to make people laugh, regardless of the circumstances.

These individuals have a natural skill for witty and simple jokes. They are also very friendly and can get along with almost everyone, making this adaptable character one of their key assets to their intuitive sense of humor.

Gemini will make a great comedian since they are charming and know how to keep an audience engaged for hours to come.

#2. Sagittarius

Sagittarians are also hilarious signs. Instead of dwelling on their problems or unfortunate circumstances, they prefer to laugh at themselves and make a joke about it!

Sagittarians are spontaneous, light-hearted, and adventurous, which means they are ready to turn things upside down and laugh at the outcomes, a typical personality trait of a funny person. There is no tragic situation that Sagittarius cannot reverse with their quirky sense of humor and infectious positivity. For this reason, it’s very wise to keep one of these optimistic fellows around in case you are having a bad day.

#3. Aquarius

Aquarius’ brilliant mind is worthy of admiration. Their cutting-edge ideas make them one of the best comedians of the whole zodiac. This sign doesn’t follow the mainstream and therefore laughs at outdated laws and restrictions with their jokes.

These folks have a detached nature that’s often related to people with a keen sense of humor. Those who are too serious or too identified with the action can’t see the funny side of life.

But Aquarians are able to see the funny patterns in their circumstances, even in unfortunate times. Their sense of humor is social-oriented and aims to raise awareness of society’s injustices and humanitarian concerns.

#4. Leo

Leo is a born entertainment. These individuals know how to keep other’s people attention on them, thanks to their charismatic and bright personalities. As they enjoy having the spotlight, they’ve learned how to unleash their unique sense of humor from a young age.

Their warm characters make their jokes popular, and they succeed at making everyone they know laugh for hours. They have good comedic timing, which means they don’t just have funny words. Leo has a sense of rhythm and delivery that makes them naturally funny.

#5. Scorpio

Scorpio is not very outgoing. In fact, they usually hide their inner self from the rest of the people. However, given the right circumstances, they can come up with hilarious jokes! Although, they are not for everyone's taste.

Nothing is funny by itself. Things are funny for some specific people in specific situations. Scorpio makes other laughs when the audience is in tune with its dark nature. They have a great talent for reading the atmosphere well and be in rapport with the people around them.

This sign is the king of dark humor and the kind of people that understand it has a lot of fun with their wicked jokes. So, if this is your cup of tea, find a Scorpio comedian and enjoy a wonderful time.

#6. Libra

Libra doesn’t really like to take center stage and usually doesn’t have the initiative to entertain others. However, these individuals are charming and are always looking to please their companions, so if the situation calls for it, they will crack a few jokes to break the ice. Libra’s sense of humor is tasteful and classic. They will never say anything inappropriate or offend others with their words. Libra will probably tell all those classic jokes they recall from their childhood and everyone else will just laugh to avoid making this adorable sign feel awkward. After all, they do everything they can to make their companions feel at ease.

#7. Aries

Sometimes Aries has a great sense of humor, but they just don’t realize it! When they get upset about something, their reactions are over the top, and they start spouting all sorts of outrageous things without regard for whoever is listening.

For the rest of the people, this is entirely amusing! Although Aries' intention was not what they expected, they end up laughing at themselves as well.

#8. Taurus

Taurus is a quiet and calm sign, and don’t usually like to tell jokes or make funny remarks. They prefer to go to the movies and see a comedy film instead of making other people laugh.

This sign is too down-to-earth and has a simple way of approaching their circumstances, which takes away their spontaneity and flexibility to find humor in life.

They still appreciate people with a great sense of humor and look for their company when they have spare time and want fun.

#9. Pisces

Pisces is a sensitive and dreamy water sign that tends to observe life rather than play an active role. They lack enough wit and spontaneity to make funny jokes or tell their experiences with humor. Besides, they tend to be quiet and withdrawn and don’t like when all eyes are on them. This sign is sensitive and the last thing they want to do is make other people feel bad, thanks to a misplaced joke. Pisces takes seriously the feelings of each individual and could not laugh at the underlying truths of each person's experience. They have numerous other great qualities, but humor, in particular, is not their strength.

#10. Capricorn

Capricorn is too focused on working and climbing the career ladder to be funny. This sign is known for their pessimistic approach to life and their lack of humor. Again, someone who is too rigid and down-to-earth like Capricorn is unable to look at things from a different perspective, which is pretty much what it takes to be funny and entertain other people! They don't even like comedies and don't get it when others make jokes! They are a little bit too serious for this world.

#11. Cancer

Cancer is a sensitive sign that wears a giant shell to protect itself from the outside world. That's why they tend to appear rude and don't make jokes to not interact with others.

They show a little more sense of humor after knowing someone for a long time, and they feel confident enough. However, their repertoire of jokes is quite limited, and they only show it on special occasions and when not many people are watching them.

#12. Virgo

Virgo is another pessimistic sign, prone to see the glass as half-empty and to expect the worst from their circumstances.

They also don't have much of a sense of humor. In fact, they tend to criticize people who make jokes all the time, as they consider them childish.

For Virgo, there are too many problems in the world to be laughing at those distractions.

[artnerd1123]

What is the best quality of art each of the dice could make, and what's their art style :0

HMMMM DEPENDS WHATS CONSIDERED ART…

Warrior’s no good at drawing (he can do stick figures n that’s it) but he knows how to smith!!! He’s made several of his own weapons n armor stuff before, he’s gotten quite good at it. He also knows how to braid hair really well :]

Thief is more of a chef/baker than a drawer, but he’s decent at sketching faces. Think, like, police drawings of a suspect, or official drawings of courtroom proceedings. He’s heavy on the realism, but also heavy on gesture- he captures the essence of a person, what you’d notice at a glance. It’s very neat. Other than that he can draw floor plans/rough blueprints/a passable map in a pinch, but that’s it.

Robot’s artistic skill very much manifests in organization, writing, coding, and web design. Their room looks so pleasingly put together, they write lovely research papers, and design AMAZING websites!!! But the actual art/drawing aspect of graphic design isn’t her forte X]

Inventor draws FAST AND FURIOUS and charcoal is one of her favorite things to use!!!! But she’ll use literally anything if she needs to, she’s used motor oil and grease on multiple occasions. She’s got a very sharp, harsh angled, and snappy style- think concept art for vehicles and such in movies. She’s ok at drawing people and living things (she’s especially fond of drawing plants), but her interest mostly lies in the mechanical and chemical. She designs all of her own inventions, after all!!!

Which has a very cutesy style! She’s good at bubble letters and smiley faces and cute silly doodles of critters being encouraging ^^ nothing huge or super polished, she uses it like embellishments to make things a little more fun. If you asked her abt makeup artistry, though, THATS her whole JAM!!! She’s SO SO SKILLED AT IT and she’s always up for learning more/finding new techniques <3

Jester does not draw. They make origami. Sometimes they’ll embellish finished origami with little designs, but for the most part they like to work only with paper and their hands. Their favorite thing to make is a crane, but they can make a lot of different creatures and shapes.

Beast, of course, is a wood burning artist! She also uses her own claws to scratch lines and make designs, and she’s been doing it from a pretty young age. She quite enjoyed storybook illustrations, so her style can lean a bit cartoony, but it’s not without its prickles and sketchy/heavy lines. She’s very big on replicating and playing with textures in her art. She doesn’t exactly have proper “canvas” (aka logs) to work with in the dungeons, so she hasn’t gotten to do any proper art there. Not yet, anyway. She misses it.

[cerulean-dreams-18]

TW: mentions of severe child abuse and neglect, depiction of the results of said treatment

Drew my hero and partner Pokemon for blue rescue team! This is my hero, Hiroshi( A Japanese name that means "light".)

Unfortunately her father back in the human world was a massive sack of shit, and she bears scars all over her limbs and back from lashings, as well as a burn scar over her right eye. Additionally, severe neglect and malnutrition caused her to develop MBD (Metabolic Bone Disease), which followed her into the Pokemon world. Basically, it causes her spine and tail to be crooked and kinked, and her left foot and right hand are permanently splayed out at an angle. She's very small and thin for a Cubone her age, especially considering she's a female which I hc are typically heavier than males in most reptile and amphibian-esque Pokemon. Her scales are duller and paler than most Cubone's, and she often gets stuck shed, especially on her limbs, back and tail. Her condition does greatly improve over time, as all the villagers chipped in to make sure she gets plenty of nutritious food, vitamins, ample basking time and rest. Initially Hiroshi is very shy and reserved due to her former abuse, but as time goes on and her confidence grows her true colors start to shine through. She's impish, brave, kind, has a great sense of humour, and loves to play pranks and make jokes. She can't stand any kind of injustice. Hiroshi can also be irresponsible at times and has a tendency to "act first, ask questions later". She's selectively mute, also due to her upbringing, and initially communicated only via sign language. As time went on she found her voice, but still often uses sign language instead of verbal when possible. Gengar sort ends up adopting her after his redemption arc and becomes extremely protective of her after learning her back story. As the years go by, she grows in both confidence as well as size, and ends up becoming this big, healthy, happy girly.

And this is Liana(Named after a type of rain forest vine), her partner!

Liana was orphaned at a young age, so all the Pokemon in her village looked after her. She's a very big, rotund, healthy little lady. Personality wise she's very thoughtful, sweet and intelligent. She prefers to carefully think things through before acting. Liana is very nurturing and often comes off as a mother hen. She definitely makes sure Hiroshi eats plenty, takes all her vitamins, and gets plenty of rest and sunlight. She tends to overthink everything and suffers from anxiety. She's felt lonely most of her life, despite always being well looked-after. Hiroshi was the first Pokemon who really understood her. Liana looks after Hiroshi and prevents her from charging head first into danger, while Hiroshi boots Liana's confidence and courage, and helps her to feel less lonely and anxious. After the events of the post-game, the villagers continue to look out for her, but Gardevoir takes on a strong maternal role towards Liana.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I listened to this audiobook last week, and found it very interesting. If I were someone who was extremely familiar with every tiny facet of Douglas Adams' entire career, I'd probably consider a lot of that audiobook an unnecessary re-hash of it. And if I knew nothing about Douglas Adams, I don't know if I'd be all that interested in the book's minutiae. However, I know the perfect amount about Douglas Adams to enjoy this. I've read all his novels (Hitchhiker's x5, Dirk Gently x2), his books that are not novels (Meaning of Liff x2, Last Chance to See), and the brilliant posthumous release The Salmon of Doubt.

The Salmon of Doubt is a book I read over and over and over as a teenager, and dip into at random as an adult too - it's a collection of little writings that Douglas Adams did over the years. Speeches, interviews, opinion pieces, and even stuff that was found on his computer after he died, just musings and things that he'd written (it's worth noting that this was all done with consent from his wife and none of it was incredibly personal or anything, so I assume they're all right, in terms of privacy violation). It's capped off by the first few chapters of a novel that he was working on writing but died before he could finish, which would have been called The Salmon of Doubt.

The Salmon of Doubt is a wonderful book. It taught me a lot about the mind behind Hitchhiker's Guide and Dirk Gently, what interested Douglas Adams and what drove him toward those topics. I learned why he could write so intelligently about technology - it's because he knew an enormous amount about it, particularly for a guy who worked in the creative arts. He said once that he thought it unfortunate that people had to pick their path - go into arts or into sciences - so young, and it's hard to switch. That he became a creative type but was deeply fascinated by science.

Some of the predictions about technology that he made, in various writings that were published in Salmon of Doubt, were shockingly accurate. He could comment amazingly insightfully on the effects of technology that hadn't even started yet, at the time that he was writing. At one point, he mentioned that people often ask him how much he thinks the internet will change culture and society, and the people who ask him always seem to be hoping that his answer will boil down to "not very much". But, he tells them, he can't give them that answer. He can't give them any answer that adequately explains how much the internet will change things, because its scope can't be comprehended in a pre-internet world. He said it's like telling a river that the ocean is coming, and normal river rules no longer apply.

I listened to the Hitchhiker's Guide radio series last month (somehow the first time I've ever heard that, despite having loved the books for 20 years), and throughout the series, I kept having to remind myself that Douglas Adams died in 2001. There is so much searing satire on tech companies, and technology in general, throughout the Hitchhiker stories. There are so many accurate statements about technology in The Salmon of Doubt, like the one about the internet as an ocean. Yet, every single thing Douglas Adams ever said or wrote, he said or wrote before 2001. Most of it, such as the Hitchhiker's stuff, was written many years before 2001. He could see all that stuff, even though so much of the digital age hadn't happened yet.

In the forward to Salmon of Doubt, Stephen Fry wrote that it's sad Douglas Adams died so young, and so won't get to tinker with an iPod, or come up with an insightful angle on any new gadets that are invented in the future. But now that many more years have passed, I think Douglas Adams correctly foresaw a hell of a lot of the things that would get invented after his death. But it's a tragedy that he never got to see it all come true. (Just to be clear: I mean that Douglas Adams knew a lot about technology and was very intelligent so could accurately predict what effects it would have, and what people would do with it next. Not that he was, like, psychic.)

So that's what I already know about Douglas Adams, and that is the perfect amount to know about him, going into the audiobook that collected a bunch of his BBC work. That audiobook functions as a bit of an autobiography, which was interesting. There's a fair amount of basic biographical stuff I didn't know about Douglas Adams, the mechanics of how he got his start in writing and performing. I pretty much only knew he used to be in Footlights and crossed paths with Pythons sometimes, so it was cool to hear those stories fleshed out. And the audiobook had excerpts from various projects of his that I've not heard before, stories about his lesser-known stuff.

I cut out a few clips from it. Firstly, here's a sketch that Douglas Adams wrote when he was younger, and apparently talked John Cleese into appearing in it, but only if Cleese could pre-record his part and have his voice just played in on a speaker during the live show:

That was funny (it's a pity that John Cleese died on the same day as Douglas Adams and has not existed since then and nothing he's ever said or done since ever happened so we're all still allowed to find his older work funny), but one thing that particularly jumped out at me was when she said he sounds like the guy from the post office advertisements. That's the exact type of joke that someone would make, years later, about someone like David Mitchell, but saying "Apple adverts".

I still find it weirdly interesting to hear how classic, canonized legends were talked about in their own time. I don't even mean cases where something that's now considered great was dismissed in its own time - John Cleese, and all the Pythons, were clearly very successful in their own era. It's just that now, if you invoke John Cleese in a joke, you're invoking untouchable comedy royalty (okay, if you invoke John Cleese now, you're invoking Very Talented Comedian Turns Into Old Man Yells At Cloud, but I'm talking about before he went too obviously off that particular deep end), and it's funny to hear people talk about him when he'd more recently become famous (still not that recent, but not long enough ago to have passed into "classics" territory yet).

And that brings me back to Douglas Adams, because the Hitchhiker's Guide stuff has also passed into the status of legendary classics, so it's fun to hear how it was treated when it was just a wildly successful series in its own time. For example, the Douglas Adams at the BBC audiobook also featured a sketch that some other comedians did, many years ago, to parody the Hitchhiker's Guide radio show:

That audiobook also featured a bunch of clips of Douglas Adams talking, in interviews and things like that, and on his Guide to the Future radio show (which I've not heard, and probably should). Here's a clip I cut out, initially because I thought it was interesting how well he predicted the effects of media piracy, given that, as I've said, he died in 2001:

I started thinking I should cut out this clip, because it was interesting that Douglas Adams was able to predict some major ways in which the internet would change the way we share media. However, about 40 seconds into that clip, he said a word that made me think I definitely have to cut this out, because what the fuck? What the fuck? I will ask everyone to listen to this clip, paying particular attention to the word he says 40 seconds in, and to, again, remember that Douglas Adams died in 2001. It feels absolutely wild to hear that word said and know that this was pre-2001.

I've checked, by the way, and it's true.

I also saved this other clip, of Douglas Adams' own voice talking on his Guide to the Future radio show, giving us an heartbreakingly optimistic vision of the internet's effect on politics:

I think this is a rare case of Douglas Adams getting it mostly wrong, in his predictions about how technology would affect the future. Seeing the way that the internet connects us to the consequences of our words and actions, and thinking that will lead to more consideration from people, rather than less. I can see how he arrived at that conclusion, I can see exactly which factors he missed. But isn't it a beautiful dream?

Anyway, I enjoyed the audiobook, and I recommend it to anyone who knows exactly as much about Douglas Adams as I did before I listened to it, or to anyone who finds anything in this post interesting.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

This exchange is actually really interesting to me because of what it implies:

one thing we learn in retrospect is that Al Bronson knows much more about Blaine's crimes than this, considering that she's Stacey Boss' niece. But obviously she cannot bring up any of those things because it would blow her cover and bring her into some serious danger. Which means she can only name offences she learnt from other sources.

Which still leaves plenty of sources, considering how many people Blaine probably conned and screwed over in his lifetime. But the drug-dealing angle leads me to believe that she's (at least implying) that her source is his criminal record because we know that Blaine has a record there because he had an outstanding warrant in season 2:

the thing is, we know Stacey Boss knew that the cops knew about this because he knew that Blaine was Peyton's informant in season 2 so this is a safe thing for Al to bring up. But - This leaves the Theft.

The thing is, since she's saying this (and considering that Blaine isn't the least bit worried about her knowing this) we also know she has to have this from some safe source. And because we follow the show, we know that it cannot simply be a sentencing that happened after season 2. It must have happened at any point before the Boat Party.

There is also the fact that she mentions "theft" as if it should be clear to Blaine what she is talking about and Blaine seems to know what she is talking about - which means he must assume she is talking about some very specific instance(s?) of theft considering that Blaine really steals a lot of stuff all the time and has presumably done so far quite some time. Guy got some serious sticky fingers. But he seems to think he knows what she's talking about and be unconcerned about it and not see the need to explain more - so he even seems to be fine with her knowing whatever details she knows. He doesn't see a threat.

Now, the likeliest explanation for her being able to safely mention the theft and Blaine seemingly knowing immediately to which theft she is referring is: The source here is also the legal system. This means that whatever theft Blaine accused of/perpetuated/was involved in would also have been documented by law enforcement or the legal system in some shape or form.

Now, in season 2 we learn that Blaine has exactly 1 outstanding warrant - for the drug-dealing. And this means that whatever capacity Blaine was involved in this theft in - is not an open warrant. Which means:

EITHER Blaine was sentenced for this which would means he either actually did jail time before OR he's paid a fine (depending on the degree of theft and if he had even more priors*)

OR Blaine was at least put on trial for this but wasn't sentenced (if there was some form of court hearing, this would make it even safer for Al to know about this)

OR he's cut a deal before and got away the same way

*there is another thing. Because like any normal person, I obviously went back and checked the data sheet that Dale shows Clive in season 2 with Blaine's criminal record. Now, it's actually very carefully arranged to tell us literally as few details as possible but we learn this:

Which means that Blaine was already dealing (and was using the name "DeBeers") at the age of 18. Which is also interesting considering that we know he already had contacts to drug-addicts when he was as young as 11.

[kariachi]

Some fun facts to go with my last two fics

The security footage Max shows Ben and Gwen in the latest is old. He and Phil were shown it by one of the then-current Magisters not long after Devin transferred to Earth, and his explanation of it is a parroting of what they were told then- he actually doesn't know any facts beyond what he told his granchildren

Conflict between the Delpir and Osmosian Empire actually ended before any of those three were born

The 'where' of the Osmosian in the footage's team is 'freeing captives'

They and their team weren't standard soldiers, but in fact High Hunters- as I've noted before essentially the Special Forces of the Imperial Military

This is also why they handled gasses so nonchalantly and managed body horror with their shapeshifting- part of field training for High Hunters involves mastering all angles of their powers

Bringing us to last night's fic- Instructor Lonin is former military, having been in charge of helping military apprentices develop better skill with their powers. Though they've retired from that position, they've continued teaching youths the skills considered standard for a grown Osmosian

At Kevin's age it's expected he should be a more accomplished shapeshifter utilizing matter (escaping from that containment shouldn't have been a bother for him), and that he would have a basic understanding of working with liquids.

He's ahead of the game as far as using DNA to shapeshift, that's more of a 'grown adult with training' thing, though there's mental blocks there that need dealing with.

He's also ahead of where he would be expected to be with energy, not High Hunter levels but closer than you would expect from someone so young and without any training (desperation and a strong preference will do wonders) but he should have been taught ways of managing his propensity for overload and gotten proper treatment for his addiction issues

Overall he's split between being several years behind where he should be and several years ahead of where he should be

His lack of work with gases is at least normal, generally you don't start learning to work with those consciously until adulthood and even then it's generally more of an emergency measure. You rarely see mastery outside of High Hunters due to the difficulty and risk inherent

If Instructor Lonin ever comes across Max 'I had an Osmosian child under my watch and didn't get in touch with anybody' Tennyson they're going to beat him sideways, maybe Kev's mom too